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My family has an inside joke based on a fond memory of our grandmother.
Whenever one of us would take her home, we would get to this certain spot on the road, and she would start searching for her keys in her big handbag. It would start with her searching in one pocket, then she would quickly move to another pocket and then another in an almost panic. I share that trait with my grandmother, that near panic attack when I can’t find something I have lost. I abhor the feeling of having something in my possession and moments later finding I have lost it. I search in panic, frantically going through my past steps to recover whatever was lost. Even if it is a lost shoe, there is still that frantic searching that goes on. But what happens when you lose something bigger than the shoe, more valuable, more subjective, more ethereal? Where do you go to retrace your steps to find bits of yourself? How do you find “you” when you look up to find it is not what you remember? WHERE DO YOU GO WHEN YOU NEED TO FIND YOURSELF? I think so many of us have been here. This is not where I thought I would be. This is not where I thought I was going. Whether it is a tragic accident, an unexpected diagnosis, a houseful of kids, no kids or a broken trust, life never seems to obey the direct path we have set our eyes on … what we planned and dreamed for in our younger years. That young, idealistic self can get lost in the living. We are often thrown off track or even slightly veered off track only to look up and see that this is not where we want to be, this is not who I thought I would be, this is not where I imagined my path going. And it is in that first look that the panic starts to creep in, regret starts to make itself known. There is a quiet undoing in this panic of losing yourself. Because then the searching begins. The things that once seemed so incredibly important loses its brilliance and allure when compared to the desire of a life lived with authenticity and depth. The search for that life being lived the way the Creator designed us to exist starts in a few tentative steps of asking. What makes my heart beat fast, what do I love? What are those things that make me feel alive again? And because the best place to start is with the Creator of my soul, I ask Him, the one that created my heart to beat. I sit in the silence and ask God to just show up and throw my agenda out the window. I just need to see and hear and feel Him again. I don’t even need the answers, I just want to experience Him and find myself somewhere in Him. And slowly as I sit with God and seek His face, the panic subsides and He reminds me of who I am and how much I am loved, no matter where I am. On those many car rides home, not once did my grandmother lose her keys. She always found them, even in her semi-panicked state they were always right where she had put them. And I always smiled because I always trusted she would find them because she had never lost them in the first place. I wonder if God smiles at our frantic searching … knowing we have not been lost. He has been with us all the way long.
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Is it possible that we could just take this day to mourn and reflect and regroup instead of making political or religious statements?
Tragedies and massacres should never be used to further one’s political or religious agenda. Ever. We don’t need to point fingers and place blame when tragedy has hit our community. Loved ones have been lost. Lives have been changed dramatically. And yet, some use this opportunity to push their own ideas and agendas. Now is not the time to preach for or against gun control. Now is not the time to quote bible verses about sin and sinners. Now is not the time to preach against radical islamic teachings. Now is the time to come together and lean on each other. Now is the time to mourn and offer comfort to those who mourn. Now is the time to pray for strength for the hospital staff who are struggling to save lives. Now is the time to shine light into the darkness, to bring hope to the hopeless, to speak life to those who are in despair. Yes, I do have strong political and religious feelings and inclinations, but the value of human life supersedes all of that. There will be a time and place when those views can be expressed but the day of or the day after the tragedy is not the time. For goodness sake's, the bodies have not even been cleared out the building yet. Have some decency. Have some compassion. Have some heart. There is no law in offering kindness. And also love. Because as a follower of Christ, I am bound by two commandments, “Love God. Love people.’ That’s it! |
Christie OBrienChristie is a writer, speaker, teacher and coach. Christie coaches leaders to find the blocks and barriers that are holding them back, so they can lead in healthy ways. She teaches about leadership, parenting, and her favorite subject: restoring the soul. 
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